Dear New Zealand,

Simply putting a picture of English policemen with funny hats on a bag of hamburger rolls does not make them English muffins. While those little guys are admittedly rather cute, I quote one Mr. Thomas when I request, nay, demand "nooks and crannies". Without a nook or a cranny to be seen, the product you have been promoting as "English Muffins" is no more than a bag of oddly shaped white bread dinner rolls. New Zealand bakers, you can do better.

Kind Regards,
Dani


[Editor's Note: Breaking news. According to our sources they apparently don't even have English muffins in the UK or Canadian bacon in Canada. What is the world coming to?]